“Accepting the Ashes is both an easy read (short, to the point) and a difficult read, because of its truth and directness. The advice is straightforward and obviously comes from the heart. I appreciate what you wrote, and applaud your work.”
Col Charles W. Hoge, M.D., (Ret) Past Director of Psychiatry and Neuroscience Walter Reed Army Institute of Research and co-author of “Battle Mind”
Place a Wholesale order HERE.
Col Charles W. Hoge, M.D., (Ret) Past Director of Psychiatry and Neuroscience Walter Reed Army Institute of Research and co-author of “Battle Mind”
Place a Wholesale order HERE.
Accepting the Ashes- A Daughter's Look at Post Traumatic Stress
”Accepting the Ashes” was written by Quynn Elizabeth, daughter of a two-time Viet Nam (also spelled Vietnam) veteran in the year of her father’s death.
Due to her father’s experiences in war, he struggled with Post Traumatic Stress, heart sadness and alcoholism all his adult life even though he didn’t get diagnosed with PTSD until 1992. In “Accepting the Ashes” Quynn shares her personal story so that other loved ones and soon-to-be veterans, who are fighting right now, might not have to wait 30 years to heal their painful feelings often caused by experiencing war-related stress.
Currently, Accepting the Ashes is being used by The National Chaplain Center in its Veterans Community Outreach Initiative. This program focuses on educating community clergy and veterans’ caregivers about the special needs of veterans when they return home from war.
”I commend the author for preparing this very helpful little resource for the spouses and families of our veterans. The descriptions of the struggles of combat veterans with the symptoms of PTSD are very accurate.” A. Keith Ethridge, M.Div, Director, National Chaplain Center.
Due to her father’s experiences in war, he struggled with Post Traumatic Stress, heart sadness and alcoholism all his adult life even though he didn’t get diagnosed with PTSD until 1992. In “Accepting the Ashes” Quynn shares her personal story so that other loved ones and soon-to-be veterans, who are fighting right now, might not have to wait 30 years to heal their painful feelings often caused by experiencing war-related stress.
Currently, Accepting the Ashes is being used by The National Chaplain Center in its Veterans Community Outreach Initiative. This program focuses on educating community clergy and veterans’ caregivers about the special needs of veterans when they return home from war.
”I commend the author for preparing this very helpful little resource for the spouses and families of our veterans. The descriptions of the struggles of combat veterans with the symptoms of PTSD are very accurate.” A. Keith Ethridge, M.Div, Director, National Chaplain Center.
“Accepting the Ashes” is for American military men and women, and all those who love them.
”Accepting the Ashes” is one daughter’s attempt to increase communication among veteran families so that long-term healing can occur.
“Accepting the Ashes" does not attempt to diagnose or treat any veteran. It is written from the perspective of an adult daughter, honestly highlighting one man and how PTSD negatively affected him and his family.
In addition to assisting many American families deal with PTSD, “Accepting the Ashes” is being used by a growing number of VA Chaplains and National Guard Family Readiness Offices around the country to aid their veterans, families and volunteers as they attempt to understand and treat Post Traumatic Stress.
”Accepting the Ashes” is one daughter’s attempt to increase communication among veteran families so that long-term healing can occur.
“Accepting the Ashes" does not attempt to diagnose or treat any veteran. It is written from the perspective of an adult daughter, honestly highlighting one man and how PTSD negatively affected him and his family.
In addition to assisting many American families deal with PTSD, “Accepting the Ashes” is being used by a growing number of VA Chaplains and National Guard Family Readiness Offices around the country to aid their veterans, families and volunteers as they attempt to understand and treat Post Traumatic Stress.
An excerpt from “Accepting the Ashes”
Two years before his death I found my father alone in his apartment, looking horrible. This was by far the worst I had seen him. I could tell he was at the end of his proverbial rope and that he was deciding to live or die. I insisted on taking him to the VA’s alcohol diversion program that very moment because he had just recently got his first ever DUI. Once there, I watched my father as he sat across from a grey haired veteran and substance abuse counselor. Immediately, this man began talking to him about Viet Nam, saying things like “I know how you feel, you can’t sleep, and you feel guilty, right?” The dumbfounded look on my father’s face said so much. Thirty years after his war experience, and after a couple of alcohol diversion programs, he still felt that his problems were only his failings, that he was “weak” and just couldn’t “handle it”. Obvious to me, but an amazing revelation to him, he was not alone in how he felt. This humbling experience helped give my father the strength to get a second wind and in his last two difficult years, he was able to look at much of his past. The summer before he died, I spent five days camping with him. I was quietly shocked to hear him tell stories about Viet Nam, saying over and over, “I’ve never told this to anyone”. I was grateful that he could finally speak them and that he felt he could say them to me.
As a strange gift, my father kept every paper relating to his life. While going through the boxes after his death, I found documentation of everything, his youth, his warrior phase, his family years, legal battles, and his fall into a deep well of emotional pain that he had been able to keep at bay as a younger man. Through reading these papers, I was able to step into his world which I had not known before. For years, I only saw him occasionally because alcohol and sadness had overtaken his ability to hold his life together and it was just too painful for me to watch. However, we were both given a chance to heal old wounds. Little did I know that it was a last chance before he died. I’m glad that I took the opportunity.
Emotional Response to PTS is NOT Weakness
“Being close to death warps a person’s mind.” - Quote in “Accepting the Ashes” from Quynn’s father’s VA PTSD assessment questionnaire- 30 years after his experience in the war in Viet Nam.
“We have to give soldiers a vocabulary to talk through emotions and teach them not to be embarrassed by troubling feelings.” - Lt. Col. Dave Grossman - http://www.killology.com . Quote appears in “Accepting the Ashes”
HOW SOME PROFESSIONALS ARE USING “ACCEPTING THE ASHES”
“I've had the opportunity to share some of your thoughts with veterans in our residential PTSD program, and also in our inpatient psychiatry unit. Your words speak so deeply and clearly to them. We also have the audio CD version, and have played portions during our "Families Matter….and Care" groups within the residential program. Many say "thank God she wrote this book". Your thoughts and support truly affect those who hear your words.
As part of the Families group, we hand out a folder which contain a number of handouts our clinical staff find helpful. A basic informational handout includes your web address as a valuable resource, and I'm happy to say that when we receive our order of "Accepting the Ashes", we intend to add a copy to each folder.
Thank you, Quynn, for being guided to write this moving, inspirational and wonderful memoir and support for our veterans.”
Chaplain Patrick Whiteford,
VAMC – Memphis, TN
“I have been creating a new paradigm for ministry to combat veterans over the last months. The reason: to be inclusive of our younger and newer veterans from OIF/OEF. The VA is expanding its mandate to include spouses and significant others of our veterans. Your book is to be a benchmark of the outreach to the veteran along with his significant others. You have shared emotionally and sincerely the view of life from the family to the veteran. It is important for this new paradigm that the veterans hear and read what and how their family feel about the veterans' experiences after combat”
Chaplain Robert W. Mikol
Dept of Veterans Affairs Medical Center Lyons, New Jersey
"I will be developing a family/significant other outreach program with Operation Desert Storm/Iraqi Freedom/Enduring Freedom families. I plan to introduce your book to them and use the cd in support sessions.
An East Coast VA Chaplain
As a strange gift, my father kept every paper relating to his life. While going through the boxes after his death, I found documentation of everything, his youth, his warrior phase, his family years, legal battles, and his fall into a deep well of emotional pain that he had been able to keep at bay as a younger man. Through reading these papers, I was able to step into his world which I had not known before. For years, I only saw him occasionally because alcohol and sadness had overtaken his ability to hold his life together and it was just too painful for me to watch. However, we were both given a chance to heal old wounds. Little did I know that it was a last chance before he died. I’m glad that I took the opportunity.
Emotional Response to PTS is NOT Weakness
“Being close to death warps a person’s mind.” - Quote in “Accepting the Ashes” from Quynn’s father’s VA PTSD assessment questionnaire- 30 years after his experience in the war in Viet Nam.
“We have to give soldiers a vocabulary to talk through emotions and teach them not to be embarrassed by troubling feelings.” - Lt. Col. Dave Grossman - http://www.killology.com . Quote appears in “Accepting the Ashes”
HOW SOME PROFESSIONALS ARE USING “ACCEPTING THE ASHES”
“I've had the opportunity to share some of your thoughts with veterans in our residential PTSD program, and also in our inpatient psychiatry unit. Your words speak so deeply and clearly to them. We also have the audio CD version, and have played portions during our "Families Matter….and Care" groups within the residential program. Many say "thank God she wrote this book". Your thoughts and support truly affect those who hear your words.
As part of the Families group, we hand out a folder which contain a number of handouts our clinical staff find helpful. A basic informational handout includes your web address as a valuable resource, and I'm happy to say that when we receive our order of "Accepting the Ashes", we intend to add a copy to each folder.
Thank you, Quynn, for being guided to write this moving, inspirational and wonderful memoir and support for our veterans.”
Chaplain Patrick Whiteford,
VAMC – Memphis, TN
“I have been creating a new paradigm for ministry to combat veterans over the last months. The reason: to be inclusive of our younger and newer veterans from OIF/OEF. The VA is expanding its mandate to include spouses and significant others of our veterans. Your book is to be a benchmark of the outreach to the veteran along with his significant others. You have shared emotionally and sincerely the view of life from the family to the veteran. It is important for this new paradigm that the veterans hear and read what and how their family feel about the veterans' experiences after combat”
Chaplain Robert W. Mikol
Dept of Veterans Affairs Medical Center Lyons, New Jersey
"I will be developing a family/significant other outreach program with Operation Desert Storm/Iraqi Freedom/Enduring Freedom families. I plan to introduce your book to them and use the cd in support sessions.
An East Coast VA Chaplain
A Message from Quynn, a Veteran's Daughter...
“It is difficult to help our country's military men and women live with the unsettling emotions, fear, sadness and anxiety that they may feel after offering their service to the USA in a time of war. In my father's last two years of life, I had the unique and blessed opportunity to speak honestly with my father. The two of us were able to come to terms with the unsettling past. My sadness is that he felt that his pains were his weakness. I have brought that daughter's voice to "Accepting the Ashes" because, as I say in the book "there are some things that need to be said". I am honored to hear how my father’s story is offering some kind of solace to others so horribly touched by war, again. I know first hand that the war doesn't end when the Soldier/Marine/Guardsman comes home, even if everyone wants it to.”
Accepting the Ashes
© 2007 Quynn Elizabeth
Second Edition
(First Printing 2004)
All Rights Reserved
Illustrated by: Elizabeth Gentry
Cover design and book editing
by The Merry Wolf Studio
merriewolfie@yahoo.com
Music at front and end of audio book by Allen Smith
of Rainbow Didge Music
ISBN 978-1-59196-873-3
© 2007 Quynn Elizabeth
Second Edition
(First Printing 2004)
All Rights Reserved
Illustrated by: Elizabeth Gentry
Cover design and book editing
by The Merry Wolf Studio
merriewolfie@yahoo.com
Music at front and end of audio book by Allen Smith
of Rainbow Didge Music
ISBN 978-1-59196-873-3